The Paperhouse ~ Reading with Joey

I should mention, before I tell you this story, that JoJane was being dreadful today. And not in a two-and-a-half year old sort of way; she was being dreadful in a 13-year-old, glaring at me over a snotty scowl sort of way. She was mean to a point that actually scared me a little bit.

So I felt vindicated when she asked me for help this afternoon.

If she hadn’t have been so downright rude to me earlier, her sweet little footsteps followed by the sing-songy “Mama, can you hep me?” would have melted my heart. Instead, it made me smile. And not in an of-course-sugar-mama-can-help-you sort of way. It made me smile in a 13-year-old, smirking over a snotty scowl sort of way. (Oh God, I can’t believe I just admitted that).

Joey calls this her "scawy" face. Believe me, it is not.

Her favorite computer game requires her to type her name on a banner. The point of the game is to create your own birthday party, and the banner is the focal point of the child’s decorations, which is the centerpiece of the birthday cake. And for the grand finale, it becomes a part of her gift at the end.

JoJane, being two, doesn’t know how to spell her name yet, of course. And she, being two, doesn’t notice when I type something other than her name.

Revenge can be a tricky dish, though. There are two almost-five-year-olds who are getting quite good at putting vowels and consonants together. So I was thinking that if I was going to pull a fast one, it had better be good, yet somewhat gentle. A tough combination, for sure.

So …

“Turd”

The boys roared with laughter. My gig was up … but on the bright side I learned they knew how to spell and that they each had a good sense of humor.

Second try …

“Menace”

Crickets. I suppose it is kind of an old fashioned word; I wasn’t even that impressed.

But when she started the game over and asked me to “hep her” for the third time, I knew what had to be done …

“JoJanus”

I roared, but when I turned around for the adulating high-fives, I was only met with blank stares. Jack did tell me that JoJane did not, in fact, have a u in it. Another bright-side moment, I suppose.

And I left it because, honestly, I was still kind of mad at her, and it was hilarious to watch her decorate a cartoon cupcake with a flag sticking out of it that read “JoJanus.”

Another thing I should probably mention is that when I sat down to write tonight, I had an entirely different post in mind. But I felt like I had to share that with somebody, anybody. Mostly because I wanted to relive it again, but also because it was, in a weird way, sort of symbolic of life in the trenches with toddlers and/or preschool-aged kids.

Mothering children of these ages is not easy, but there are definitely bright spots. Some days they’re easy to find, sure, but some days you have to create your own, even if that means politely calling your two-year-old daughter a butthole.